I know, I know I said I would be silent and MUTE MARCH....it is hard to keep a good thing down!! HA!
I just have been so quiet this past week and at the feet of my Father much. Just felt like laying my heart on the line. I cannot get over all that I have learned and taken in from the MOM'S HEART conference!!!
First of all- I have had a HUGE struggle with priority....husband, kids, house, blog, business, paper work....etc... So I finally feel like I have the housecleaning down- only to realize my kids are watching 5-6 hours a TV a DAY (not all at once whew)!!! I know....call the authorities!! But the house is clean!!! Yet I still felt so dirty!!
Then I love my blog & LOVE to READ other blogs......but when my husband comes home and falls into the bed snoring on his way down......then I hit the laptop!!! Staying up late and not rising early to read my bible & study God's word.
So where is the happy medium?? I sat down and wrote my JOB description. Then I thought- IF I WERE at a JOB OUTSIDE THE HOME (notice I didn't day REAL JOB) What would my Boss say- or what would they have done to me if they realized I was NOT doing my job the correct way. I would probably be standing in line at the unemployment line!!!
First and for most I am a WIFE.....he & I were here before the kids......and will be here when the kids are gone- so we need to keep it real and not just be roommates!! We have planned many date nights ahead, and talked about doing FUN things as a family too- but just our time alone, is MOST important. His pet-peeve is when I am on the phone...when he gets home- and when he is home at all. Well, now that I text more than I talk....that is his new pet-peeve!! HA!!
Which brings me to my NEXT point.....ELECTRONICS....YULP!!! As I was in the conference and I was listening to Sarah Clarkson talk on her LOVE of reading. LIFE is a STORY she said. You are on an adventure, make it beautiful & wonderful. And in her book she writes- how on an average children watch 10 hours of TV a DAY!!! When they are watching TV the learning side of the brain shuts down- and the emotional side of the brain takes over!! That explains the crazy characters running around this house!!
I have noticed also- If I do anything electronically, my children completely loose control & misbehave!! TV, computer, telephone (talking or texting)- It takes my WHOLE brain to complete the task.....so I ignore them or send them to the side!! When I am driving, I find myself talking on the cell phone....missing out on the cows in the field, or the backhoe work, or BIG trucks that the boys see- and want to talk about.
I was thinking back to when I just had ONE child. I would sit in the floor and play with him hours on end!!! Read books over and over again- to the point I could close my eyes....I had them memorized. TV off.....NO high-speed Internet....no texting.....AHHHH the simple life!! Having two makes all the work double- and my mind work over time!!!
I am just too exhausted to play with them- clean the house- cook supper- blah blah blah.....where is time for ME..ME..ME!!! Some body SLAP ME!!! I have come to the realization this week- when I sit and I am at the mercy of my two cowboys & sword fighting super heroes....that is much more rewarding that a day at the spa. Plus when they are in college living hours away- or in the military a whole country away....I can go to the spa then!!!
When my grandmother's were raising my parents- how did they do it?? When my parents were raising us how did they do it?? All week long I pondered the thought. And I thought of how simple life was. I almost am mad that we have so much to take away from us now- I want everything at a snap of my finger......fast food.....high-speed.....instant messages!!!! ME ME ME WANT WANT WANT!!!
Wednesday morning, my boys slept in.....til' 9 am!!!! C was up most of the night- and T well, he just loves his zzzzzzz's!!!! But it was the FIRST time I have ever put C in the bed with me.....he usually just decides it is a game- and we are here to PLAY!!! So he goes back to his crib.
This certain morning BOTH boys were laying here- I looked at the clock as I was awakened by the soft ringing of the phone from the kitchen. Oh MY- it was 8 am. I had two boys snoring laying on my left arm.....and it also was asleep!! I thought to myself- I need to get up and read my bible so I can put on the word- and prepare for the day!!
As I tried to remove my arm.....I realized it would wake them up....at least C!! So, I thought, maybe I can reach my bible.....stretching my right arm...realizing it was out of reach. What to do?? Let's see, I was not planning on leaving the house that day....until church that night. So, hey why not just lay there and pray.
As I laid there and prayed....I watched my children's chest rise and fall- breathing in and out. I thanked God for his Glory- that he gave me these beautiful children, who are FULL of LIFE and healthy!! Although we may have our "bad moments" None of them could compare to some "BAD DAYS" other parents might have. I asked God to forgive me for not being the mother he has planned for me to be. I have realized I need to slow down and enjoy life- instead of consuming my days and thoughts about what will others think if this or that looks like what??
And hour later, yes I sat for an hour of my life watching my children & praying over them as they slept.....and hour I will never get back! Then the little guys started rubbing their little tired eyes and stretching their little arms with their super hero pajama's on. I kissed those sweet cheeks and as I did I almost cried- thanking God for another day to have my children here on Earth and here with me. I am so thankful I am able to stay at home and not miss out on this moment- too often I rush and run out the door.....I thank God for the ways he shows us his GLORY and that taking time to STOP and SLOW down.....we will miss out on so much if we go to fast!!
For the first time in a while I have seen JOY on my children's faces this week. When I tell T hey we are going to play this or out of the blue I spring a surprise pillow fight on him!! And the blued eyed boy God has placed in my care....his face lights up like a Christmas tree!! T also walked up to me twice this week- he use to do this ALL the time.....I miss hearing these words from him "Mama, your the BEST Mama that there is!!" He was really enjoying the TIME I was spending with him.
You see T & C are not mine.....I know I gave birth to them both....I was there I remember!! But God has placed them in my care.....only for a short time. How long?? I have no clue?? That is why I need to take this journey one day at a time. Stopping to smell the flowers, play a game or two, read LONG books, and let the house go. The material things- they will burn. It is the precious life that I have pushed aside for the things of this world that are NOT important.
I want my kids to come to know the Lord at a young age- I have prayed since the day I knew I had a baby in the womb. But who am I trusting to guide them....the church, their friends.....no, that is my responsibility- It is up to me & my husband- Children learn from example.
So being a Stay at Home mom....what does that mean?? I stay at home to clean.....I stay at home to wash dishes.....I stay at home to cook.......I stay at home to raise the next generation of Godly Men.......all of the above!!!! Which one will I look back on and wish I would have spent more time on?? Which one will my kids look back on and say I did correctly??
This week I am so glad I was silent......so I would NOT miss this message from the LORD- and if this week this was so heavy & powerful for me.......WOW- the whole month....what else is in store??
Psalm 130: 1-6
Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; O Lord hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared.
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits and in his world I put my hope. My Soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen. wait for the morning.